most wanted
HERS
filipa "pipas" figueiredo
bridesmaid
Fellow Slytherin and best friend for over 20 years. The bride and her practically grew up together, dreaming of owning her grandma's house one day. The bride is a master matchmaker, pivotal in introducing her to the love of her life. She's passionate about animal and planet welfare for her son's future. Despite her petite stature, she's as fierce as a Rottweiler. And don't dare tell her how to spend her money, unless you want her formidable mother to intervene. She's notorious for not answering calls, so the bride has both her and her husband under the same name on the contact list.
Manon "rachele" lancre
Groom's Mother
Introducing Rachele (*with French accent*), who didn't exactly roll out the red carpet for the bride. You wouldn't expect her to have much in common with a French person, let alone invite her to her wedding. Rachel is like that annoying background music that won't stop playing, always complaining about something. But surprisingly, they both share a love for being grumpy and judgmental. So, what exactly binds this unlikely duo together? Well, it's their mutual obsessions with sneakers, Kanye West, and Lewis Hamilton. Oh, and a word to the wise: never diss Zidane in her presence unless you fancy a crash course in French feistiness.
andreia "naomestresses" revez
bridesmaid
They crossed paths 9 years ago, but let's be real, the bride wasn't exactly doing cartwheels about it. No, she was more like a reluctant participant in a reality show called "Forced Friendship." Picture this: stuck for a whole year with her boyfriend every evening, waiting for her and her soon-to-be husband to finish their classes. It was like a daily sitcom, minus the laugh track.
But hey, life has a funny way of turning things around. Turns out, she's not just a regular cook, she's a culinary magician, and her mixology skills could give Tom Cruise a run for his money. And when it comes to skincare splurges and gift-buying binges, they're practically soul sisters.
Oh, and here's a pro tip: never, ever mess with her kitchen. Seriously, it's like walking into a lion's den wearing a meat suit. You've been warned!
Maria "bimba" & Matilde "TeTe"
bridesmaids
Maria
She's always been head over heels for the bride, and that's not changing anytime soon. But let's face it, she's only here for the hen party because she heard there might be a boat involved. Who can resist a boat party, right? And when it comes to family, especially the few who actually like you, it's hard to say no.
Despite her age creeping up, she'll always be stuck at 15 in the bride's eyes. But hey, at least she's finally legal to do... well, pretty much everything. Scary, huh?
Now, here's the thing about genetics—apparently, the only thing they don't share with her in the family is the parents. So, whatever you do, don't mess with her. And unlike the bride, she's loud. Very loud. Like, "can you hear me from across the room?" loud.
Matilde
She adores the bride, but let's face it, she might fancy the brother a bit more. Who can blame her?
She also joined the party after her sister spilled the beans. Talk about a surprise guest!
She's a sweetheart, much gentler than her sister. And guess what? She's already hitting the dating scene and partying like there's no tomorrow, even though she wasn't born in '99!
Oh, and one more thing: she loves being called Teté!
Andreia "Chaos" Fernandes
bridesmaids
Ah, the name jinx strikes again—she didn't quite hit it off with her either. Must be something about those names...
They've had their fair share of adventures, like sharing a single bed with a silk pillow for a week. Waking up every morning with hair glued to her face was a treat. And then there was the time Andreia left the bride for dead after a tumble down a double-decker bus staircase in London. Sheesh, talk about dramatic exits!
But despite it all, Andreia is actually one of the sweetest souls ever. Just don't expect them to shop together anytime soon—she's a bit of a snob about it. And if anyone wants to make plans with her, better schedule it three months in advance. Oh, and always keep a tampon handy. Trust me, it'll save you in a pinch!
beatriz "vinhassas" Albuquerque
bridesmaid
Both a primary squeeze and a buddy. While she hasn't outright declared her love, the bride figures it's a given—who wouldn't adore her, right?
Fabulous locks and, ahem, noteworthy rear view. It's like a work of art, really.
Among her brother's parade of partners, she's the bride's top pick—a shining beacon of kindness. And let's not forget her wine knowledge! She can sniff out a grape variety faster than a bloodhound on a scent trail. Whether she's a sommelier or just winging it, she's got everyone fooled with her wine wizardry!
abbie "gail" Farrow
bridesmaid
This bridesmaid didn't warm up to the bride either. Rumor has it she cried on her first day at work, but the bride suspects it was Brexit stress. She's only invited to the wedding because she threatened to report the bride. Plus, she's got a prime view of the bride's place and probably spends her days spying. But little does she know, the bride's the real Sherlock, peeking at her from the bathroom window while she's in the shower! Yes, it's a real-life soap opera unfolding. And let's not forget about Nairobi, the bride's picky canine companion, who surprisingly tolerates this character. They've even had cozy cuddle sessions on the sofa while watching Formula 1. Talk about Netflix and chill! Oh, and this character supposedly dates Ed Sheeran's cousin, well, sort of, because he's ginger! PS: Never call her by her full name, Abbie Gail. It's Abbie SPACE Gail. Or spell Abby. That's a big no-no!
